Our Bodies Talk...Are We Listening?

I’ve been a massage therapist since the last century. That means I’ve had years of experience getting to know bodies—lots of them. I’ve developed a relationship to the body that parallels the relationship that I developed, when I was a psychotherapist, with my counseling clients. I learned to listen—with all my senses.

For example, a bodywork client comes in, states what’s happening in her life, and what she desires from the healing experience. Generally, I’m of the belief that the client knows her needs and I will honor the request. However, there are times when my additional senses will pick up information when I’m working on said client that contradicts her words. I may sense anything from self-neglect, to dehydration, to poor posture. I may detect teeth grinding, incessant worry, and protective armoring. Then there may be disconnection from the body, touch deprivation, or stored up grief. I often get the comment, “I didn’t know I had a problem there until you started working on it.” My clients have come to appreciate how massage can help them tune more closely into the messages of the body.                  

What happens when I am requested to work closely with someone exhibiting lack of connection to herself? I lovingly share if I am guided to do so. You see, counseling also taught me that we develop protections for our psyche that serve a purpose. We can get the real healing work done when we are in a place of readiness to release. The same is true for massage. I can dig and grind, sweat and fret to release the physical manifestation of a client’s “stuff,” however the real—lasting—healing happens when the client sees the relationship between the mind, body, and spirit, and is ready to release that which no longer serves. It is then that something different can occur. In the meantime, when unawareness is present, clients will still receive some physical relief, a feel-good release of endorphins, and all is well enough…until the next time.

For many reasons, a great number of people walk around with a disconnect to what they’re truly feeling in the mind, body, and spirit. We’ve been taught to see things as individual components vs. a collective whole. “My low back hurts, focus your attention there.” Suppose the back pain is caused by dehydration leading to poor kidney function? What if your hips are holding the back muscles tight? What if the side of your leg is the culprit—or muscles deep within the abdominal cavity? This happens on a larger scale, too, in our “rugged individualist” society where we pull ourselves up by the bootstraps to get ahead, needing no one or nothing. We lose sight of the power of community, and we fail to see how oppression of others essentially oppresses us all. “Why should I speak up for ____ rights—it doesn’t affect me. I’m not a woman, black, man, gay, transgender, Latina, police officer, immigrant, parent, disabled person etc.” But I’m not here to discuss that now.

We can also disconnect due to numbing out. There are countless means of numbing, from using food to illegal substances, from mindless TV to the ubiquitous smart devices. Even so-called healthy activities, such as exercising and intellectual pursuits, can lull us over the edge into the numbing abyss. We get so caught up, we don’t know what we’re feeling in any given moment. Hold on, while I go chase another Pokemon… But I’m not here to discuss that now.

What I do want to focus on is that we can learn to reconnect to this amazing organism that houses our beautiful soul. According to Valerie Martin, “Being “embodied” means living as the whole person that you are, where mind, body, and spirits are a connected, collaborative system.” She offers some tips, which I will expand upon.

1. Body scan. Those of us experienced in energywork have learned to slowly run our hands over the body and pick up changes in the energy field. You don’t have to have this skill to do a body scan. Simply sit in a quiet space, close your eyes, and check in with different parts of your body. Sometimes I start at the feet and move up, other times I start at the head and move down. I may “listen” for what a part is saying, or as I do as part of my yoga practice, feel what area is tight within my body. When I hear, feel, see or sense in some way that something is out of balance, send healing light, love, and/or energy to it.

2. Energy Flow. Stagnant energy leads to dis-ease. When we feel a pain or discomfort in our body, we can rest assured the energy is blocked there for some reason. There are so many ways to get energy flowing throughout the body. I’ve practiced Qiqong and Tai Chi, yoga and belly dance to name just a few. What I’ve discovered in all of these is that you never lock your knees, always keeping things soft at the knee cap. Valerie Martin passed on an insight she learned from one of her mentors, Anodea Joseph, explaining that locking your knees basically blocks your energy flow from the knees up. This interferes with the grounding process. If you sense energy blockages within your body, you may want to try one of the aforementioned practices, or receive healing such as massage, Reiki, acupuncture, acupressure, and more.

3. Yoga. I’ve been practicing yoga for over 25 years, and I’ve gained so much from it. I believe it is one of the best ways to ensure I stay connected. I personally choose a more gentle practice versus Bikram (hot yoga) or another form that can take us out of the mind-body-spirit connection into more of a workout mode. When moving into a pose, or asana, I feel where there is resistance or tension in my body. I feel what is weak. I learn to tune into the area and back off as needed, or breathe into a further stretch. I ground myself with sitting or reclining poses, visualizing roots extending from the base of my spine down through the floor and into the earth. While standing, I see these same roots reaching down from the bottoms of my feet and anchoring deep into Earth Mother. When we are connecting to our Source energies, we better connect to ourselves.

4. Walking Meditation. We can be so hell-bent on getting to a destination, that we lose sight of the journey. A walking meditation focuses on experiencing the journey. Whether the walk is in the park, along a river bank, on the beach, on a mountain trail, in a labyrinth, or even around the house, focus on each step. How does it feel? Notice each step as you move heel to ball to toe on one foot, then the next. Allow other thoughts to drift away, or pay attention to your breathing as you walk, or tune into the sounds of birds chirping or the surf breaking against the sand. Feel the connection to your walking environment, and to how your mind-body-spirit feels as you walk. In the silence, you will hear.

5. Earthing. I grew up in the country, so I spent a lot of time walking shoeless outdoors. I love the feel of grass on the bottoms of my feet. I adore burrowing my toes in the sand. I had no fear of broken glass, blazing hot sidewalks, or nasty wastes littering the ground. I didn’t know it then, but I was earthing. Earthing is a movement that exposes how connecting directly to the earth is beneficial for vibrant health. The earth energy is grounding, connecting, and studies are showing help us feel better. We can benefit from releasing all the non-conductive barriers like rubber and plastic shoes, and flooring made of laminate, treated wood, plastic, and asphalt. Walk barefoot for a while. Perhaps lie down on the ground and soak in the sun as your body soaks in the earth’s energy. Listen for messages arising while in this state of connection.

This is by no means an exhaustive list of ways to listen in to our body talk. I encourage you to try out different methods and find those that work best for you. If you are interested in exploring more on connection, click on the link below to check out my upcoming 8/7/17 radio show with Mare Cromwell, nature mystic, as she discusses her amazing new award-winning book, “The Great Mother Bible (or I’d rather be gardening…) Also, I am offering a fun workshop of connection called Massage for You and Your Loved Ones, Too at PIES Fitness & Yoga in Alexandria, VA on Saturday 8/20/17—you can find out more by clicking on the Meetup link below. Finally, sign up at http://www.sacredsojourns.space to join Anim A. Bey and me for our September 2017 retreat, called Sacred Sedona Sojourn, where we will spend seven days using the amazing Sedona, Arizona elemental energies to connect more to self and to Source.

To find out about my holistic offerings, visit my website at www.mindbodyandspiritworks.com. To check out my Self-Care Saturday Series and other holistic events, go to http://www.meetup.com/Laurel-Mind-Body-Soul-Food-Meetup/.  To listen to my podcast, Mind, Body & Soul Food, visit www.blogtalkradio.com/tonyaparker. Purchase a Kindle or audio version of Diary of a Witch’s Daughter, my young adult novel with holistic and metaphysical themes at http://tinyurl.com/diaryofawitchsdaughteronamazon.