We Eat, We Pray, We Love

Several years ago several friends and I gathered to read Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat Pray Love: One Women’s Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia. This was to be our first selection in a monthly book club. What actually happened was one person read the book and perhaps a couple of others read snippets. The rest of us unashamedly never cracked open the book prior to the day of the meeting. We received a quick synopsis of the book, ate potluck, talked metaphysics, and laughed a lot (I later read the book on my next vacation—loved it!).

The group became known as the Pretend Book Club (PBC) because this pattern of not reading the selected book continued for a few months.  Essentially, we preferred to evolve into a community of women who gathered to eat, pray, and love. We ate our way around the DC/Metro area, supporting or celebrating each other through relationship formations and losses, hospital stays, job and housing changes, new haircuts, kitten adoptions, first-time public speaking events, holiday parties, movie openings, weekly prayer calls, and meditation circles. And yes, we periodically read a book!

The PBC came to mind this earlier month, just before Valentine’s Day. I spent Valentine’s evening hosting my radio show with a focus on Love & Relationship Messages from two of my favorite intuitives.  No candlelight romantic dinner for me. Truth be told, I’m not huge on holidays in general, believing in living each day as if it is Thanksgiving, Christmas, Valentine’s Day etc. I do not wait until a certain time of the year to count my blessings, give a card or gift, or say, “I love you.”

With that said, I recognize that February 14th holds meaning for many, and this year I heard in the voices of some callers to the show how dreaded the day can be for those who don’t happen to be in a romantic relationship. I’ve shared that feeling in the past. In fact, when the PBC was meeting, I decided to allow myself to get into the Spirit of Valentine’s Day by holding a “Love Party” for the ladies of the PBC, by then re-named the Crown Chakra Sisterhood. We gathered, each bringing food we loved—some cooked, some purchased. We ate, chatted, laughed, watched a love-themed movie, and laughed some more. One member brought a rose for each person, and I diffused heart chakra oils ylang-ylang and patchouli. There was not a doubt that everyone ended the evening feeling truly loved and appreciated.

Alternative health professionals have espoused for years the importance of having meaningful connections in our lives. In my opinion, too many people minimize the value of relationships that are not of a romantic nature. Don’t get me wrong—I am a Libra, thus I am a romantic, and I enjoy being in relationship with a partner. However I also know that my life feels more enriched with connections to others, be it my family, former feathered cockatiel friends Jesse and Jeho, colleagues past and present, chapel community, individual friends, or members of communities such as the Crown Chakra Sisterhood.

According to Dr. Andrew Weil in his 1997 book, Eight Weeks to Optimum Health, we as humans are highly social animals that are meant to live in families, tribes, and communities. We begin to suffer when we exert our independence and habitually distance from others. This does not mean that solitude is not helpful—at times, it definitely is, especially for introverts who need alone time to re-energize. However we all need to achieve a balance between solitude and connectedness. Otherwise, we can start to manifest physical symptoms resulting from the emotional pain of isolation and loneliness.

The former counselor in me feels the need to note that we can be surrounded by many people and still not feel connected. Connecting or disconnecting, as Weil would call the opposite, is an inner experience. When we feed our sense of connectedness to others (Eat), including a higher power (often when we Pray), then we will fully experience the infinite supply of Love that is ours by divine right.

It seems like the group-formerly-known-as-the-Pretend-Book-Club got it right from the very beginning. We somehow selected a book—Eat, Pray, Love—that symbolized how we connected. Definitely, one of the best Valentines gift I have ever given or received.